‘My Work Here Is Done,’ Smiles Contented Bannon Before Bursting Into Millions Of Spores


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Breaking
‘The Onion’ Has Obtained Hundreds Of Classified Documents From The Trump White House

An anonymous source in the West Wing has provided ‘The Onion’ with a trove of documents that provide an exclusive and shocking glimpse into the Trump administration.

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Mike Pence Asks Waiter To Remove Mrs. Butterworth From Table Until Wife ArrivesWASHINGTON-Expressing concerns about the propriety of being left alone with a syrup container of the opposite sex, Vice President Mike Pence reportedly asked his waiter Thursday to remove Mrs. Butterworth from the table until his wife arrived to join him at a local diner ( Read more... )

Lindsey Graham Cowers Behind Tree Trunk As Trump’s Hunting Dogs Close In


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A longtime government professor at Harvard lashed out Tuesday at what he deemed a system of rampant grade inflation after learning that students are receiving mainly A’s.

- The Boston Globe, Dec. 4

From: The Dean of Harvard College

To: The Faculty

In light of the controversy regarding so-called grade inflation, please take a moment to review ( Read more... )

So, What's It Going To Be?By Bashar Al-Assad ( Read more... )

RALEIGH, NC-Calling it his lifelong dream, local man Brendan Lockhart, an insecure and perpetually frustrated bully who believes he has something to prove to the world, told reporters Thursday that he is seriously considering a career in law enforcement ( Read more... )

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